Bride Shaming — No—-Shame on YOU!

Bride Shaming — No—-Shame on YOU!

OK, I admit…I am an avid Facebook reader.  As my handsome husband/chauffeur does most of the driving and we both work together from home, I have a lot of time in the car to peruse Facebook boards, as well as my early morning (ie: crack of crack) rise time. It’s practically an obsession, albeit, I DO wish I could overcome it. I moderate a board for wedding pros all over the country, so Facebook also serves as my “virtual water cooler” where I can talk about the news of the day and the news of the industry with people who actually care.

It's the playground all over again.

So, when the bullies bother you, and the popular girls make you want to cry, just walk away.

And, who am I to say that the trend of brides searching for wedding items, vendors, and advice onFacebook boards is necessarily a bad thing? It isn’t…that is, until I see the amount of “shaming” going on. Yes, Facebook is the virtual playground, complete with the popular girls, the wallflowers (or in this instance, the “lurkers”) and the bullies.

If you’ve every read one of these boards and followed a popular thread, you will see these characters (other than “the lurkers”) who have no problem telling you that YOUR way is wrong, that YOUR way is “cheesy”, and that YOUR way is cheap. Yes, this is definitely the playground/the cafeteria all over again.  All that’s missing is the lunch lady with the hairnet.

I don’t even have to give examples…I can hear the collective sigh. You get it! Maybe you’ve even been there. Your own family may have started shaming you the minute you told them the stress of wedding planning was too much and you were going to elope.

For me, the worst is when I see vendors shaming brides. Why? Many of these vendors wouldn’t be anywhere near a particular bride’s wedding—some aren’t even in the same state. I guess it’s just a lonely business, sometimes. Maybe they just need to vent. But shaming a bride, telling her she’s trendy, too late in the game, not budgeting enough for a service or a vendor, etc., never seems like a way to win friends and influence people.

We are in peak engagement season. So my advice to brides is this….it IS your day. Let cool heads and common sense prevail, and DON’T let anyone shame you into anything. Limit your exposure to people, Facebook and other boards, over-zealous vendors, etc., that try and cloud your judgement and practically bring you to tears. It’s not a popularity contest, there are no awards for the “Wedding of the Year”…it’s about two people who fell in love and are binding their relationship…and perhaps a celebration to follow.

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